To be completely honest my first 6-9 months was a massive struggle. I was not only adjusting to a new city, language, culture, co-workers, living situation, I was also struggling to accept where God had me. The first six months I really struggled and questioned God if I was in the right location. I had issues with not being back in Africa and I second guessed by decision frequently. Those first few months I had to really pray through this issue and be so honest with God and prayed for acceptance and peace. I was truly at peace about where I was when we began to enter into the fall season. I knew that God wanted me in Russia but I had to grieve that loss of not going back to Joburg and accept that for this time in my life I was suppose to be here in Russia. The whole first year was hard overall. Yes there were times where things were good and I was enjoying life here, but overall it was difficult. I cried to my mom a couple times on the phone and even told her "I really dislike this place". But because of those struggles, it made me appreciate and love this place and people more when my heart began to change and when I began to understand this culture better.
I struggled with loneliness and prayed for the Lord to bring a true friend into my life (He did, in the form of two women and sisters in Christ and in a national friend). The first year was hard and filled with rejection as I tried to meet people and share with them. I am so thankful for the ministry that was already in place by the team, as that helped me to have a sense of direction and purpose amongst the rejection of people. The whole 2 years was also a time of trying different outreaches and ways to meet people, that is constantly changing and while frustrating at times it is exciting and brings variety to the work week. Also in the beginning it was hard to adjust to the ever changing schedule that I have and trying to explain to people my schedule. I don't work a 9-5 job and it would be really frustrating trying to explain that to people (both here and in the states).
One of the biggest challenges was relearning how to be dependent on people and ask for help. With not knowing the language (and I am still working on that) I had to rely on the help of others to do small things in the beginning. As an adult I know how to go to the Post Office, ask for meat at the store and buy groceries, but when you can't speak or understand you have to ask for help in learning what to say in these places and how to read signs. I am very thankful for my teacher who has been very patient with me and has helped so much. It is through having to revert back to a child like learning stage that you learn and trust and see God in a new way. The first couple of months weren't just asking others for help it was and still is learning to fully depend on God in all situations. If it wasn't for Him I would have had a really really hard time.
I made it through the first year of hard times, seasonal depression, the seemingly never ending winter and darkness, challenges and frustrations and around the 9ish month mark things began to change. Things weren't as hard and frustrating. While those first few months were filled with struggles they also held some exciting and fun times with people and exploring the city. I don't want you to read this and think is was all bad, it wasn't this is just a reality of my 1st year that I never really shared publicly and now that I am past it, I can fully express my throughout on that time. Trust me things got better and 2013 brought some amazing things.
Stay tuned...
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