We have passed the six months mark and are now venturing into seven months of working and living in Russia. The past six months have been an emotional roller coaster where I have had feelings of happiness and contentment to feeling completely broken. I don't even know how to explain to you the emotions and thoughts that go through my head on a weekly basis. While this city is physically easy to live in compared to other parts of the world, mentally and emotionally it has been hard.
Some days I feel like the weather describes the people here well. Most days now are cold, dark and cloudy and maybe once a week the sun will shine and you will see blue skies for a short time. It is still cold but the sunshine brightens the day. This is how I can describe how I view the people sometimes. At a glance they seem cold, uninviting and uninterested. But when you get to know some of them you will see that they are warm, welcoming and a ray of light in the midst of the cloudy city. There have been days when everyone seems to be cold and uninviting and some old lady scolds you in russian for not dressing warm enough or days when all you want to do is go to the store and buy bread without being followed by the security guard (all the stores have people that follow customers around). Then there are days when I get to spend time with a girl that I am getting to know and she is warm and funny and we walk and talk or talk over a cup of tea. This isn't a "warm" culture but a "cold" culture, in both weather terms and describing the people. I have to take a different approach to get to know the people here and understand that many may be hesitant to talk or suspicious of me and that it takes time to get to know them and for them to trust you, but once you get to know them, it is then that you really get to see who they are and the warmth that they have.
Six months into this journey and I have realized that I will never fully understand the culture or all of the different aspects that have lead to peoples world views and way of life. But what I do know is that I will leave here knowing and understanding more about this culture and country then I did when I got here. I have already learned way more about the history of the people and country then I ever did in school.
I can guarantee that the next six, twelve and however many months I have remaining won't be easy. There will be hard times but there will also be times of rejoicing, laughter, and growth. We will continue to plant the seeds and will joyfully reap the harvest when it comes and will rejoice when it happens. It isn't us that makes the seed grow, but God.
"I planted to seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building"
1 Corinthians 3:6-9
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